Saturday, October 31, 2009

Breaking Down the First Half

Announcer: "Why are the Buffs only rushing 4?" (said at 5 minute intervals)
Translation: "Why does Dan Hawkins still have a job?"

Mizzou Coach before halftime: "This game is far from over"
Translation: "We're not afraid to run up the score"

Hawkins: "We just have to make a few adjustments at halftime, this is a game of inches"
Translation: "I really have no idea how to improve this team, so I'm just going to go in the locker room and talk about playing harder"

(Ok, I just made the last one up.)

Hawkins Exceeding Expectations

I excepted CU to lose, but down 33-0 with 4 minutes left in the 2nd? Hawkins must surprise himself sometimes with how poor his recruiting and coaching is. I mean, it took 3 touchdowns before the Buffs realized that playing 3 CBs against 5 WRs doesn't work when the QB isn't under any pressure.

Its the Big 12 (North)!!!

CU is bad, there's no doubt about that. But sadly, if the Buffs had (somehow) managed to bear Kansas State last week, they would probably be the favorite to win the North. An amazing turn of events considering the 1-4 start to the season. Not that anyone that remotely pays attention to CU football thought the team has any chance of winning last weekend (except maybe Dan Hawkins depending on whether you think he pays any attention to the football program or not). The sad part is that playing in a Big 12 North division that has been one of the worst in recent memory, Hawkins is preparing to match the embarrassing 2-10 record of his first season.

I feel sorry for Vegas this week, they had to choose a line in a game featuring a 4-3 team with and 0-3 record in the Big 12 and a 2-5 team with a 1-2 record in the Big 12. Not an easy task by any means, but I can't say I disagree with Missouri being the 3 point favorite, still it's pathetic to be giving points at home when the other team hasn't won a single game in the Big 12. And the even more pathetic part is that the sucker bet is on the Buffs to cover. Vegas knows how bad of a coach Hawkins is, but people are going to look at the match-up on paper and pick Colorado. Who knows -- maybe Hawkins will actually let Tyler Hansen play the entire game, but it's obvious from the line that Vegas expects Cody to play.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

4th and Goal

At the 2 yard line.
4th and Goal.
Cody playing QB.
My confidence on a scale of 1 to 10: -7

Captain Garbage Time

We're down 14 in the fourth quarter. Let's send in Cody! He can totally pick apart defenses when they are playing prevent! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT GO CU!

Lesson Learned

I'm glad that even though Dan Hawkins wasn't able to figure out which quarterback to start at the beginning of the season, he was able to figure it out after starting 1-4. Cody won 1 game against Wyoming and two of his four losses were against teams that aren't even remotely good. But with Tyler starting, the Buffs are 1-0 and beat a ranked opponent. Looks like the switch is really paying off so far. I for once feel confident in Hawkins' ability to make common sense decisions. There's no way he would put Cody back in and let him put up stats like 2/5 / 20 yards / 1 int. Totally inconceivable.

(CU 6/KSU 20)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

You Came, You Saw, You Signed

Thanks to everyone that has signed the petition to fire Hawkins. I'm excited to say we've reached 300 signatures, but many more are still needed to make something happen. I encourage you to tell you friends about the petition and get them to sign it. Keep up the good work!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

A Win is a Win

Not sure how we won. Not sure if we should have won. But we did.

Hawkins is the Problem

Wow, totally different looking team tonight. Maybe Dan Hawkins' coaching wasn't the biggest problem afterall. Problem was his overconfidence in Cody. Any doubt CU would be 3-2 if this team was on the field in week 1?


Another week, another loss. If there's something Buffs fans can take away from the game this weekend, it's that it won't be broadcast on national TV. In sports, there's really only one thing worse than an embarrassing loss -- an embarrassing loss on national television and having all your buddies tell you how sorry they feel for you the next day. This week's 9.5 point line says a lot more about Vegas' confidence that Hawkins will do anything he can to score touchdowns in garbage time than in the Buffs being in any way good. In fact, Hawkins' propensity to score more points in garbage time than in the part of the game that actually counts is perhaps his most deplorable characteristic. Does any self respecting coach or for that matter any coach that has the intention to win a game engage in these types of shenanigans?

Last night I was playing a game of Madden. Down 28-0 with 2 minutes left in the third quarter, the guys I was playing decides to kick a field goal. 28-3. I wouldn't have thought it was possible to have so little confidence in one's skill and ability to win, if not for watching Dan Hawkins made the same types of decisions every weekend. This whole scenario got me thinking -- what would Dan Hawkins do if he played Madden? Would he inexplicably attempt a fake punt on 4th and 20, then later punt on 4th and inches? Down 21-0 with :30 seconds left in the game, does he drive down the field to kick a field goal, then hold a press conference about how the end of the game showed that the team was improving -- "We're right on the brink!". In franchise mode, does he trade away his first and second round picks for a running back, then leave him on the bench for the rest of the season? Does he start one quarterback for the first 5 games of the season, then decide to burn Tyler Hansen's redshirt so that he can play in a time share with the starting QB? (My bad, that last one probably hit a little too close to home.)

I'm not excited at all about the game tonight. If you think I should be, why?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Hawkins: Tyler Hansen Will Start, or Will He?

From the Daily Camera:
"If you have two guys ready, you can kind of go with the hot-hand theory more, you know?"

No Dan, we don't know. If Buff fans learned anything from watching Jim Tracy turn around the Rockies this season, it's that consistency and continuity are essential to winning. Of course, Hawkins wouldn't understand either of those concepts. Most of his press conferences consist of grand proclamations about how he plans to completely reinvent the offense and defense before the following weekend. Has a coach ever had a winning record with this type of philosophy?

As disappointed as I was about Hawkins burning Hansen's redshirt, I at least thought that Hawkins had the sense to start Hansen for the rest of the season. But, I guess even that modicum of trust was a mistake.

Here's my advice to Hawkins. You've showed CU fans that nothing you do on or off the field will so much as make Mike Bohn think about firing you. CU fans already think you have no strategy and no idea what you're doing. So why not take it to the next level? Send out a formation with 9 receivers, a center, and a QB. Attempt a field goal from your own 20 yard line. Inexplicably leave the field during the middle of a quarter. Put Vaseline in your hair and look like you want to cry the entire game, but never actually do it (my bad, you're already doing that). Hold a press conference in which you state that you will be starting both Tyler and Cody -- the "2 QB set". Punt the ball on 1st down. The possibilities are endless.

If know you're going to lose, better to lose big.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Vintage Hawkins

Giving up big plays.
Missed opportunities.
Burning Hansen's redshirt.
Questionable playcalling.
Waaaay too many penalties.
Big loss.

I think Murphy's Law should be renamed "Hawkins' Law" - Anything that can be fucked up will be fucked up. If you made a mental list before the game tonight of things that could have happened in a "worst case scenario", is there anything that didn't get checked? You probably had to add things to the list as the game went along.

Did anyone feel even remotely confident when the Buffs were up 7-3? 14-3? 14-10 at halftime? I called my friend at halftime and told him I was waiting for Texas to score 4 unanswered touchdowns in the 3rd. Thats the kind of confidence I have with Hawkins at the helm. And he didn't disappoint tonight.

I almost feel bad having this website. Hawkins has delivered such a terrible performance through 5 games that its embarrassing that its necessary to tell people this guy has to go. It's even more embarrassing that Mike Bohn and the Athletic Department can't take a clue. During the 4th quarter, I got the feeling that Hawkins was just taunting the fans. Look guys, I can blow an 11 point lead, lose by 24, blow Hansen's redshirt, and I'm still going to be the coach.

If you still had any faith in Hawkins, it's time to reconsider. Check out the petition on the right.


Thats how badly Gary Barnett had to lose to Texas in order to lose his job. We can only hope that Hawkins can secure his legacy in Colorado by an even more embarrassing game tonight. I don't think 80-3 or 70-0 are really out of the question. Vegas posted the odds for the game at Texas (-33.5). That means people are expecting this game to be 36-3 and do you have any doubts about Dan Hawkins underachieving?

I'm just hoping that tonight, when the Buffs are down 30 points at halftime, the commentators will have the decency to say that Hawkins is a terrible coach and people want him fired, instead of pretending like he's a genius in the process of building a national championship team. Have some respect.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

New Layout

And new colors. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Its Time to Fire Hawkins

Thursday, October 1, 2009


13:05 Run. Run. Run. Run. Doesn't look like our defense can stop WV unless they stop themselves.

11:30 Camera shows Devine in the foreground and Dan Hawkins in the background. Does this make anyone feel confident? WV inside the 20.

9:46 Devine can pick up 5 yards before the D even reacts.

9:17 28-17. Thats more like it. WV still has time to cover.

6:34 Simas with the first catch of his career. For a short gain!

6:05 4th and forever. Not looking good for Hawkins. Buffs got a lot of breaks and still never looked like they had a chance to win.

6:04 And a missed 57 yard field goal. Gotta question Dan Hawkins' decision making.

5:36 Devine has a career best 220 yards and a 10 yard per carry average. I can't wait until the Buffs play teams that are actually good.

3:27 Is it even possible for the Buffs to score in that much time? The announcers are happy the Buffs avoided "a national embarrassment". I knew there was a silver lining.

3:03 No mention of Hawkins' job security all night. How is that possible?

2:47 Game over. This time for real.

2:00 How do you let someone run up the middle untouched in the red zone? Embarrassing. Hawkins finally breaking out a sweat.

1:18 I love how Dan Hawkins is always trying to score in garbage time. He's more animated now than when the game was close.

:39 Come on Dan Hawkins! Cover that spread!

:30 "Some people might say this is meaningless, but it's not. Not to this team." Your CU BUFFS!


:03 Onside kick. Really Hawkins? Are you serious??

35-24. Gut-wrenching cover.

Game Diary: Third Quarter

13:05 Buffs give up another big play for a touchdown. 21-10

12:58 Camera on Dan Hawkins, but down 11 he's not sweating yet.

10:02 Buffs go for it on 4th and 7. Scotty makes a great catch for a touchdown. Really great catch. I'm just worried that a lot of things have been going our way and we're still losing. 21-17

4:31 Another pick. Announcers trying not to make fun of Cody -- "He doesn't have the skill set to make that throw"

3:15 I'm starting to think neither of these teams is very good.

1:15 What? Hawkins isn't going for it on 4th and 5. That's the shorter than the two the Buffs already converted.

1:05 Well at least we got a 25 yard punt instead.

21-17 with one quarter left.

Game Diary: Second Quarter

14:55 Another punt. Now Dan Hawkins is asking his receivers whether they got open or not. Great coaching there.

12:35 Announcer describes the hole in the Buffs' D as "massive".

11:41 HAHAHAHA. ANOTHER fumble by West Virginia. Maybe 2 per quarter isn't out of the question afterall.

8:55 Has Rodney Stewart done anything but pick up first downs? He's the only guy on this team that I trust.

8:19 Cody throws a pick. And another FUMBLE! Wow, this is getting ridicules. Is 4 fumbles in the first 22 minutes some sort of record? Right on track for 2 per quarter though.

5:45 Buffs convert on 4th and 10. Maybe Dan Hawkins has been playing some Madden.

3:41 Buff finally make a field goal. Didn't expect us to have the lead at this point. 10-7

3:35 Devine with a big run. Didn't make it to the endzone though, is it time for another Mountaineer fumble?

1:21 Guess not -- 14-10

1:13 Biggest pass of the season? Over 20 yards from Cody to Scotty

:17 Ouch. Hawkins with a pick. No fumble this time.

:14 During the replay, the announcer refers to Sumler as "a speedy running back". Really? Sumler?

14-10 @ the half. Close score now, but WV could still win by 30.

Game Diary: First Quarter

4:00 to kickoff: The lead-in to a commercial break shows 2 kids wrestlings in the grass outside the stadium, the pregame hosts jokes "Maybe, we should just watch them wrestle all night". Sadly, it would probably be more entertaining than watching CU lose.

12:57 Mountaineers D has been watching too much CU game film -- missing tackles left and right.

10:51 Buffs are actually playing decently. The field goal is up and no good. Hopefully CU gets another chance to score tonight.

10:39 WOW. WIDE OPEN receiver. Should have caught it for a touchdown. Buffs got lucky.

10:37 Devine runs right up the middle. Untouched... TOUCHDOWN! Well, at least they didn't score on the first play of the game.

10:08 Speedy runs for a nice 10 yard pick up. Announcer says "Just like Devine".

9:11 Speedy with another run. Announcer compares him to Devine again.

8:36 Speedy breaks it for a touchdown. Could it be that CU lost badly in the first 2 games because this guy was out? Announcer reminds us "Speed kills". Pay attention kids.

5:29 "Cody does not have the strongest arm in all of college football"

5:03 Cody makes a decent deep throw to Simas, but Simas doesn't make much of an effort to catch it. Punt.

4:46 FUMBLE! Cody can't find his helmet. Where is it? Over here, over there? Probably never thought the defense would (could?) get a turnover.

4:03 Another 3-and-out for the Buffs. And by out I mean missed 45 yard field goal. Even the announcers are wondering why Dan Hawkins isn't running the ball more. Stewart is only averaging 15 yards a carry or something. Maybe Hawkins just doesn't want to lower Stewart's YPA stat. "I don't know how we lost, Speedy was averaging 15 yards a carry!"

2:34 Yikes! Lack of speed really obvious on that play. WV QB just ran around like Michael Vick in Madden '05.

:53 Haha. Another VW player just decides to fumble. Maybe with 2 fumbles a quarter, Buffs could actually win.

7-7 at the end of 1st. Closer than expected, stay tuned.

Prepare to Lose

West Virginia (-17) against your CU Buffs. Is anyone picking the Buffs tonight? You're probably thinking this game is going to be over by the end of the first quarter. You might even be thinking to yourself "I know what's going to happen tonight, why even bother watching the game?" Well, I'll tell you why. ITS DIVISION ONE FOOTBALL! ITS THE BIG TWELVE! Oh, my bad, got a little carried away there. I meant to say that the game is nationally broadcast on ESPN and it's a Thursday night -- you don't have anything better to do. And no, playing your CU team on NCAA 2010 where you fired Dan Hawkins is not something better to do. And if you get bored, here's 10 proposition bets to keep you entertained:

1. First time the camera shows Dan Hawkins sweating on the sideline: over/under 5:00 remaining in 1st Quarter
2. Number of carries by Darrell Scott in the game: o/u 4
3. Number of turnovers committed by Buffs: o/u 3
4. Number of 3-and-out series for Buffs: o/u 3
5. Number of kickoff returns for Darrell Scott: o/u 6
6. Half time spread: WV (-14)
7. Number of times the word "fire" is used in reference to Dan Hawkins: o/u 5
8. Number of times a graphic related to Dan Hawkins' coaching record is shown: o/u 1.5
9. Buffs total offense: o/u 250 yds
10. Number of plays given up that are more than 40 yards: o/u 2

Have fun watching! I'll have a running journal updated at the end of each quarter.